Danimals Birthday

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My Name Is Rovert

This is the video that was posted on my school's website a couple months back. Enjoy.

Tochigi International Festival

Festival

CoCo Farms Harvest Festival

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Asakusa + Tokyo Tower

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Idaho Potatoes

Today I taught my kids class how to say chicken sandwich! Probably the most valuable English word they have learned.


I have one student (businessman in his mid-40's) who speaks in a deep broken monotone voice. He sounds like an excited, and slightly confused robot. Here is a conversation that we had today.

Your's Truly: Where would you like to go on vacation?
Excited Robot: Idaaaho.
Your's Truly: Hahaha, Why Idaho?
Excited Robot: To eat potaaatooo.
Your's Truly: Seriously, where would you like to go?
Excited Robot: Miami.
Your's Truly: And why do you want to go to Miami?
Excited Robot: Miami Vice is a good TV show.

Sadly I have been to Idaho to eat Idaho potatoes.


While I was at the convenience store I overheard two college girls talking about Obama. I think they said he is cute, I heard the words Obama and kawaii (cute). It is not surprising considering that Japanese girls think everything is cute.

Halloween

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All you can eat meat!

A few weeks back I went to "La Primervera", an authentic Brazilian restaurant with Danimal and the Bolivians, Augustus and Javi. I met the guys at the train station and then we drove for over an hour into the Japanese countryside. By the time I reached the restaurant, I had already spent 2.5 hours in transit, and it was definitely worth. In Japan I find that no matter how much I eat I am always hungry. This was my first and only food coma, and it was pure ecstasy. Inside the restaurant the waiters carried giant chunks of meat on skewers and cut the meat directly onto our plates. There were at least 10 different types of grilled and BBQ'd meat!


Despite my best efforts otherwise, I'm losing wait faster than a post-op gastric bypass patient. Damn the Japanese and their healthy and extremely expensive food! Before I came to Japan I tried to pack on some extra poundage just for this reason, but I'm afraid I have already burned through all of my reserves. It is only a matter of time before I become Skeletor. Where is an Ultimate Cheeseburger when you need one.


Green: Bring more meat!
Red: You are about to puke. I almost did.

Coming to Japan has also been great Spanish practice. A few days before "La Primavera" I was enjoying some Mos Burger when I overheard some people speaking Spanish behind me. It was a man and woman in their mid-twenties. The woman was cute so I figured what the hell, why not. I went over and said, "Sumimasen, de donde eres?" It turned out she spoke a lil English as well, but the man did not. They were both from Peru and had lived in Japan their whole lives. I talked to the woman for close to 20 minutes. She said that she would like to practice English so I told we should exchange numbers. There was a slight awkward pause. It wasn't until I called her later that I found out that the man was her fiancée and that I had totally pissed him off. She also has a kid. A fiancée I can work with, but a kid, that's a deal-breaker.

1 Man Adventure Through Japanese Countryside

Ota: Falling In Love...

Ota is known as the sex capital of Japan, (aside from Kabukicho in Tokyo, I've already been there. lol). I should talk about this experience when I'm sober. I don't know what to say, lol.

One Of Two Things

There is a really loud siren blaring across the city at 2:15 in the morning. This means one of two things:

1. Tsunami Warning!
2. Godzilla is back!

The Epic Answering Machine Challenge

While I was finishing my paperwork for the day I noticed my coworkers were having difficulty recording the new message for the answering machine. They needed to read 3 paragraphs of information within the span of 20 seconds. I believe these were the 8th and 9th attempts.

Nomihodai

In Japan when you go out with group to an izakaya or karaoke you usually pay a flat fee for all you can eat and all you can drink! This is called nomihodai. It means you have 2 hours to drink as many beers as humanly possible. I drink that many +2!


Endless beer is the perfect social lubricant, especially if you plan on doing some karaoke.


Here I was about to make a peace sign but at the last second I realized how stupid I was going to look and tried to throw up a gang sign instead. The end result was peace sign + thumb. I was sooo close to looking stupid...


...like I do in this photo taken seconds later. I'm so horrible at karaoke, but it's so fun.


After 3 songs Danimal had enough of my crappy singing, and punched me in the face while I was singing Usher. He then went on to sing Barbie Girl...I have since lost all respect for him. lol

42

I just got hit on by a single 42 year old grandma.

She thought we would be perfect match because I am 24 and she is 42. We are the exact opposite/vis versa age.

Her whole family was also at the bar with her including grandchildren...awkward.

It was the most direct approach I've had since this girl licked half my face/neck and said, "Take me home with you."

For a single 42 grandma she wasn't bad, but yeah...awkward.

Also at the bar I was asked:

Japanese Guy: "Do you like Japanese girls?"
Me: "I like all girls."
Japanese Guy: Do you like good body?" (Points to his wife, awkward...)
Me: "Yes...I like good body."

Girls that can speak fluent English is such a huge turn on...lol


Side Note: I heard there is supposed to be a huge earthquake in Tokyo tomorrow. This is pure rumor but in case it is true and I don't make it out of the rubble I just want all of you to know that I love you.

Last Weekend...

Sunday
16:30 - Eat hamburgers.
17:30 - Go to the arcade for the first time. Dominate all the games there.
19:30 - Meet a friend at an izakaya in the next town over for dinner and drinks. We eat okonomiyaki and yakatori and drink lots of beer!
22:00 - More drinks at a bar, Whiskey and Bud.
23:30 - Catch the train back to Ashikaga

Monday
00:00 - Arrive back in Ashikaga.
00:15 - Roll into a bar a few blocks away from the train station.
00:20 - Make new friends.
1:30 - Leave the bar 6 drinks drunker.
2:00 - Make it home, turn on the early morning football games.
205 - Skype with my dad and trash-talk him about his fantasy lineup.
2:15 - Talk to my grandparents on Skype. (I am very drunk.) I threaten not to return to America unless they vote for Obama. They are now going to vote for him. lol
2:30 - Watch football for 30 minutes.
2:50 - I pass out on the floor of my apartment while cleaning.
9:30 - I wake up realizing that I have missed the Charger game. I go back to sleep because I have nothing to live for...I am confident they have won by 3 touchdowns.
11:02 - I wake up still a lil drunk realizing that I'm already 2 minutes late! I'm supposed to meet one of my students at school so she can take me to the driving range for a golf lesson!
11:03 - I'm in my boxers.
11:04 - I'm in a nice pair of slacks and a wrinkled polo.
11:05 - I begin running.
11:08 - I'm out of breath and arrive at school to meet my student. She is still there! YES!
11:09 - I apologize for being late.
11:10 - We drive to the driving range.
11:20 - We arrive and I begin my golf lesson...in Japanese.
11:25 - Despite the fact that I speak no Japanese and the instructor speaks no English, we completely understand each other.
11:30 - I'm okay with irons, (Level 3) so the instructor has me practice with the woods.
11:32 - He tells me that I'm a "Level 1." (Crappy)
11:45 - It is very hot and I begin sweating.
12:05 - I go to the vending machine and get a cup of Coke WITH ICE.
12:15 - It is getting hotter, I get another cup of Coke WITH ICE. (SO GOOD)
12:45 - We practice putting. The instructor tells me that I'm "Level 5." There are only 5 levels. Everyone is impressed. I am still drunk, I somewhat impressed too, for being able to stand...
13:00 - Head home.
13:15 - Check ESPN for EVERYTHING I HAVE MISSED.
13:20 - WTF!!! THE CHARGERS LOST, TOM BRADY IS DONE FOR THE SEASON, AND I LOST MY FANTASY FOOTBALL MATCH-UP TO MY BROTHER BECAUSE MICHAEL TURNER RAN FOR OVER 200 YARDS. WTF, WTF!!! (Out of the 6 Fantasy football leagues I'm in, the only game I lose is the one against my brother. Fuck him and his bastard luck.)
13:30 - I Skype my parents. They make fun of me for how drunk I was the night before. I deserve it. Apparently I make a lots of hand gestures when I'm drunk. At this point my skull is throbbing and feels like someone hit me in the head with a hammer because I have a horrendous hangover. I amazed by the fact that I am still awake.
14:00 - Pass out, begin recovery.

All In All A Good Time.

NFL Standings 17 Weeks From Now

AFC West
San Diego Chargers (14-2) This is the year.
Denver Broncos (9-7) Cutler and offense are weighed down by weak defense.
Oakland Raiders (6-10) Running and defense will be good, but no receivers and JMarc is young.
Kansas City Chiefs (5-11) Fresh blood will help improve last year's record.

AFC North
Cleavland Brown (10-6) Playmakers on offense will drive their success.
Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7) Weak O-Line, inconsistent play from offense, and a tough schedule.
Baltimore Ravens (6-10) Rookie quarterback.
Cincinnati Bengals (5-11) Lots of holes on defense.

AFC South
Indianapolis Colts (11-5) Harrison will no longer be a playmaker.
Jacksonville Jaguars (10-6) Stout defense and running game, but average passing attack.
Houston Texans (9-7) Improved defense but tough division.
Tennessee Titans (4-12) No passing game. VY runs for more yards that he passes for.

AFC East
New England Patriots (13-3) Concerns about secondary.
Buffalo Bills (10-6) Strong running game and improved defense.
New York Jets (9-7) Improved play from defense, but Farve won't lead them to the playoffs.
Miami Dolphins (3-13) Triple their win total from last season.

NFC West
Seattle Seahawks (11-5) Hasselbeck and defense carry the team.
Arizona Cardinals (8-8) Warner and passing game help team reach .500.
St. Louis Rams (5-11) Steven Jackson will win a couple games by himself.
San Francisco 49'ers (2-14) Mike Martz passing 70% with scrub QB's equals disaster.

NFC North
Minnesota Vikings (11-5) Strong defense with strong running attack help the team reach the SB.
Detroit Lions (9-7) Calvin Johnson emerges as an unstoppable receiving threat.
Green Bay Packers (8-8) Arron Rodgers is next Alex Smith.
Chicago Bears (5-11) Rex Grossman, Kyle Orton, and Caleb Hanie.

NFC South
New Orleans Saints (12-4) Brees is back.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-8) Mediocre team, mediocre record.
Carolina Panthers (7-9) Defense need works.
Atlanta Falcons (5-11) Turner and Ryan help turn the team around.

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys (11-5) Overrated, but still a good team.
New York Giants (10-6) Strong O-line and defense. Losing Osi was a huge.
Philadelphia Eagles (8-8) McNabb will get hurt, again.
Washington Redskins (3-13) New coach. Strong D but offense is horrible.

AFC Playoff Seeds
1. San Diego
2. New England
3. Colts
4. Browns
5. Jacksonville
6. Buffalo

NFC Playoff Seeds
1. New Orleans
2. Minnesota
3. Seahawks
4. Cowboys
5. Giants
6. Lions

Superbowl
Chargers defeat Vikings

Note: These standings are probably mathematically impossible.

Viva Home

If Wal-Mart and Home Depot had a mutant offspring, it would be Viva Home.


In Japan you can buy monkeys! They only cost 700,000 yen.


I've been in Japan for 10 weeks and I still don't have a bike. I'm debating whether to buy a new one or to cut the chain off the old teacher's bike and just use that.


If I decide to get a new one, I'm getting a Jeep Wrangler.

Stacked

The Chargers are stacked and have one of the deepest rosters in the NFL. Here are my predictions/concerns going into the season.

Offense
Nick Hardwick's absence will be noticeable. As the center, Hardwick is responsible for giving the line calls and blocking assignments/adjustments to the offensive line. Without him their play will suffer, how much has yet to be determined.

This year the offense is going to pass more. A lot more. Chambers and Jackson are going to catch more balls and as a result the offense is going to be much more balanced. Rivers is going to have a great season. He will be a top 10 Fantasy Quarterback.

Jacob Hester will be somewhat ineffective. On 3rd and 1, I'm giving it to Tolbert. The undrafted rookie FB.

Darren Sproles is a play-maker and this year he gets his chance to shine. I've always liked Sproles, but he is quickly becoming my favorite player. The man is a 5ft. 6in. beast!

Gatesy's toe will be fine.

Defense
Jamal Williams is and has been the most important defensive player. His health will determine how much success the defense will have. He is getting old and his knees are giving out. Finding a suitable replacement for him should be the team's top priority next off-season. If his knees start acting up you can expect the Charger's run-defense to suffer.

The weakest link on the roster is at middle linebacker, especially Matt Wilhelm. If he does not have a productive season he will not be a Charger for much longer. Our MLB's have very poor pass coverage and are only average against the run. They are especially vulnerable against pass-catching tight ends. Luckily, Cason the rookie will step in on passing situations (Nickel and Dime packages) and should help bolster pass-coverage over the middle.

If Shawne Merriman is unable to play he is not going to be missed as much as most people think. Although Jyles Tucker isn't the complete player that Merriman is, he is a fierce pass rusher and should prove to be a disruptive force in the backfield.

This is the year that Shaun Phillips emerges as a playmaker and is recognized as an All-Pro OLB.

The team leader in interceptions will be either Hart or Weddle, not Cromartie. The most consistent player in the secondary with be Quentin Jammer.

Outlook
The Chargers are going to finish 13-3 or better. Their most difficult games are not against NE or IND, but the games week 7 - week 11.

Week 7: @ BUF
Week 8: @ NO (London)
Week 9: Bye
Week 10: KC @ Home
Week 11: @ PIT

The Bolts don't play well on the East Coast so I can see them losing a game or two during that stretch. Also the bolts usually split the division series with KC every year, and playing at Arrowhead is always a challenge. If the team can stay healthy and avoid injures they will be in Tampa six months from now.

The Dark Knight

This weekend I went to see the new Batman flick. I was surprised at how dark and edgy the film turned out. If I had to describe it in one word: Twisted. Ledger as the Joker was phenomenal. Apparently I'm the only one who likes Batman's rasptastic voice.

One of the best movies I have seen in years. The movie was saturated with poignant political and social undertones which are highly relevant to today.

The katakana on the poster reads: DaaKu NaITo


Movies are much more expensive in Japan. To go to the movies it costs 1,800 yen and DVD's range in price from 1,500-3,500 yen, almost double what you will pay in the states. However, when you buy a movie ticket in Japan you get to choose where you sit. Here is a picture of the seating chart!


After the movie I got dinner. Guess where I ate?


Note the wholesome clean fun Americana decor.


Recycling is a huge deal in Japan. Even at Mickey D's.

14 Days...

No Posts: Fantasy Football Season.

Welcome Party!

Yesterday my coworkers threw a welcome party for me! We ate raw fish and drank beer.


A lot of beer!


Then we went to El Mundo to drink more beer! I like parties! Thanks coworkers, you guys are awesome!

Tokyo: Harajuku

Two weeks back I went to Tokyo for the day with my coworker Kiwi, my friend JB who I met at training in Vancouver, and his coworker Haiku.

Harajuku is only two trains and two hours away from Ashikaga. Miraculously I made it to the station without gettng lost and met up with my friends. We grabbed a quick bite to eat, then headed to Meiji-Jingu.


Meiji Jingu
The main torii (gate) at Meiji Jingu. Meiji Jingu is a shrine dedicated to the Meiji Emperor. During his rule from 1867-1912, he played a significant role in Japan's rise to modernity.
(I stole this picture from JB.)


The area around Meiji Jingu is covered with tranquil forests.


I love sake this much!


Torii #2 at Meiju Jingu. Apparently the first one wasn't good enough so they had to build another.


Before entering and praying inside Meiji Jingu visitors are supposed to wash their hands and mouth. Here Kiwi is "pretending" to be Japanese. She didn't know what to do and had to read the instructions.


I decided not to pray. Besides, Japan is too far from heaven for Jesus to hear my prayers, over here it all falls under Buddha's jurisdiction.


For 500 yen ($5) you could buy a wooden card to write your prayers on. Of course you don't have to pay the 500 yen and get the card, but if you want your prayers answered, it is highly recommended.


Inside the courtyard of Meiji Jingu.



Shortly after we arrived at the shrine, a prayer ceremony was held and I got my first take of Taiko drumming.


On the left is where I bought a charm for victory. One of the best investments I have ever made. Since I have bought it, I have been victorious at everything!


Takeshita Dori
This street is internationally renown for its trend-setting fashion. This real estate is also known for having the highest concentration of foreigners in all of Japan.



Here Kiwi, JB, and I are walking down Takeshita Dori looking for Shakey's Pizza. It was wall to wall people everywhere.



Condomania!
On our way to Shakey's Pizza we found Condomania. Here is quick video of me getting kicked out for taking video inside!



Then we stumbled upon this sweet looking Audi dealership.

The pizza at Shakey's was somewhat disappointing. At least they had beer. Afterwards we made our way to the train station to catch a ride to Shinjuku.



The train was packed! I bet it's a fun ride during rush hour on weekdays.



This is the madness I encounter at major train stations.

continued on Tokyo: Shinjuku

Tokyo: Shinjuku

continued from Tokyo: Harajuku

Shinjuku station is considered by some to be the busiest train station in the world. It doesn't feel like a train station. In fact it resembles a massive underground metropolis more than it does a train station. It is a immense multistory labyrinth with shopping malls, restaurants, and department stores.

The Tokyo Metropolitan Government Center
After we escaped from Shinjuku Station we went to the top of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Center to take pictures.



A quick video of the view. Too bad the weather wasn't better. On clear day you a supposed to be able to see Mt. Fuji.


The Park Hyatt Tokyo
This is the hotel that was featured in Lost In Translation. We tried to go to the New York Bar on the 52nd floor but were denied due to dress code. This place was pretty swanky. The cheapest single room runs more than 50,000 yen a night. Next month we are going to head back with the appropriate attire. That should be a great opportunity to play the "How many Long Island Ice Tea's can I drink before I get cut off?" game. I'm going for 5!



So where do you go after being denied to one of the most lavish drinking establishments in all of Tokyo? Kabukicho! Tokyo's most infamous and irreputable red-light district!


The Lock-Up
Before walking through Kabukicho we decided to quench our thirst and rehydrate at a restaurant called The Lock-Up.


The Lock-Up is a horror themed restaurant with poor lighting and exotic drinks.


We ate dinner inside a jail cell.


We had been there for only 2 minutes and Haiku was already afraid.


After she gathered her courage she ordered the giant eye ball drink!


I decided to go with the Mad Scientist Starter Kit! Test tubes, beakers, and pipet included!


Then I went with the delicious Cotton Candy drink. JB decided to step up and try "the Shocker", the most alcoholic drink on the menu. "The Shocker" lived up to its name.



We Will Rock You!


The monster that attacked us!

Kabukicho
Apparently Yakuzas run this area which is filled with numerous "massage parlors", but I didn't see anything too exciting. Not even 1/100th as dangerous or skeazy as TJ.


Golden Gai
Then we headed to Golden Gai, an area just East of Kabukicho. We went to dive bar called Champions, a place for winners to congregate an celebrate themselves. We fit right in.



JB singing Lose Yourself by Eminem.



10 seconds later.



This guy sang New Kids on the Block. He asked me not to post this video on YouTube.


This was my first time singing karaoke in Japan. The song I choose, Shaggy: It Wasn't Me. No, the people behind me are laughing at something else that is even funnier than my singing...

After a few more songs we finished our drinks and caught the last train. My first trip to Tokyo was amazing and can't wait to go back.

Hana-bi!

On Saturday morning I was awoken at 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:00, and 10:00 am by...fireworks! Yes! Daytime fireworks on the hour every hour! I was not in a good mood when I had to get up for work.


Once my coworkers and I finished our classes for the day, we stepped outside the office to watch Ashikaga's annual hana-bi festival. The fireworks display started at 7:00 and didn't end until 9:00 pm.

For the past month various businesses and offices have had fireworks posters hanging in their windows. The fireworks festival is kind of a big deal.


Vendors began setting up booths and stalls hours before the fireworks even started.


Even the gangstas came out to enjoy the show. Unfortunately for them so did the police.


At the festival they served a lot of food that you would find at a carnival back in the states; fried chicken, icees, and hot dog on a stick. There were also a wide variety of noodle shops and of course squid!



Here is short video of some of the fireworks. My coworkers and I ate fried chicken while I filmed this.



Another action shot.