JAPAN!

Tokyo 13:45! That's me!


Inside the Vancouver International Airport there is a creek and an aquarium. The perfect spot for a picnic!


THE POINT OF NO RETURN.
When I took this photo there were like 5 people behind me upset that I was blocking them.


My flight left Canada 1:45 pm PST and arrived in Japan 3:45 pm the next day! I lost over a day! WTF! This messed me up sleep-wise and when I land in Tokyo I was exhausted. I should have slept on the plane like everyone else but I was too busy watching movies.

During the flight they showed Jumper, National Treasure II, and Maverick.

Jumper: Made me want to jump out the plane.
National Treasure II: I saw 2 weeks ago.
Maverick: This was when I started to order beers instead of water from the flight attendants.


When I landed the other teachers and I met our man on the ground who bought us train and bus tickets to our different destinations.


During the 2 and 1/2 hour bus ride I faded in and out of consciousness. I occasionally tried to take pictures but it was raining and nothing was coming out.


When I got off the bus I was greeted by the sub teacher and the JET (Japanese English Teacher) and was escorted to the office which was 100 ft. away from the bus stop. For every person in Japan there are at least 10 vending machines, and while I was on the bus I must've saw close to 1,000 of them. This left me feeling terribly parched, so...


I took immediate action to quench my thirst. I selected a beverage with an apple on it but when it popped out it was some sort of nasty weaksauce tea. I was devastated and dehydrated.


Luckily it was time to eat! We then went to some Korean BBQ place with our manager and ate tons of meat and drank beers. I was no longer tired. In fact I felt great!

Beer + Meat = POWER!


Then we went to a bar and drank Dos Equis and played darts! At first I thought each game of darts cost the equivalent to 10 cents. However after about 4 games I suddenly realized it actually cost a dollar per person per game. Damn you yen! Damn you!


The bar we went to was called Havana Club. It had a distinctly commie atmosphere about it but it prices were very capitalistic. The bathroom was painted to look like a rain forest overpopulated with snakes.

After Havana we went to 7-11 and got more beers! Then we kicked it for a lil bit.

The End.

Still Alive

I just got the internet working in my apartment! By the way I am still alive. I'm hungry so I am going to go grab some lunch and go exploring!

And So It Begins

Overall I have to say I've enjoyed my stay in Vancouver, especially the 25 cent peep shows a block away from the hotel. (Note: Peep shows actually costed $5 and because I am a man of principles and a fierce opponent of false advertising I refused to pay. In retrospect I really should have just coughed up the money, how often to get to see a peep shows at 8:30 am on your way to job training.

(NEXT TIME I WILL NOT HESITATE!)

Well, I just finished training today. It's hard to believe I'll be landing in Japan within 24 hours. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. This whole "concept" of going to Japan is starting to feel very real. It's one of those things that looks good on paper but there is really no telling how it's going to turn out.

Today I was exhausted at training. Even though I got a lot of sleep last night I could barely keep my eyes open. That was until one of our trainers gave us a Japanese kid's lesson as a demo. I honestly enjoyed it. We played various kids games running around the class room and acting completely ridiculous. I won all of them!!! The best part, after each game, my defeated adversaries would have to praise and complement me for my victory and I would thank them for their kind words. During the lesson I learned the words dog, shrimp, and seal as well as how to count to 5. With my newly acquired Japanese vocabulary and counting ability nothing can hold me back!


Training at times was boring but also enjoyable and helpful. Despite this I still feel rather ill-prepared to move half way around the world to a country whose language I don't speak and customs I don't know, while simultaneously starting a new job and moving into a new apartment. We'll see what happens!

After we finished training today, the other teachers and I headed over to the Japanese consulate to pick up our visas. When we arrived at 3:15 pm I suddenly realized that I had forgot the receipt for my visa. The consulate was going to close at 3:30. Luckily they gave me my visa when I presented them with my driver's license. Catastrophe averted.

Next we went to the Vancouver Currency Exchange to trade in our Canadian dollars for Japanese yen. I had no clue what the conversion rate was and could have easily been ripped off. Any time you had someone a thousand dollars you feel uneasy.

By this point we were starving because we hadn't eaten lunch so we stopped and got some Mexican food. The place was called Taco Time. It was just like Taco Bell except their food wasn't as good and they had guacamole and beer. Hard to say which is better. I've always believed that the further away you get from Mexico, the worse the Mexican food gets. This restaurant held true to the principles of that theory.


Later on we walked around the bay. Vancouver is a very beautiful city. All of its buildings seem so new and chic. There are trees everywhere, and the nearby mountains give the city and picturesque backdrop. Its well designed parks epitomize the words urban utopia. If only the weather were a bit more sunny.


To finish the night we grabbed some burgers and beers at a sports bar across from our hotel called the G Spot. Our food came with yam fries which are amazing and much better than regular french fries. While eating we talked about Japan and how insane it is to think we are going to be there the tomorrow.


So much has been happening the past couple of weeks that I've been too busy to really process how I feel about the whole situation. I'm excited and anxious. I can't wait to get settled in my new closet-sized apartment and meet my students. I am very glad that I decided to take this opportunity and I am going to make the most of it. Goodbye North America, catch you on the flip side.

It still doesn't seem real.

Canadia!

I made it to Canadia! Canada is just like America except not as good.

Well...remember when 1 U.S. dollar was worth like 20 Canadian dollars? I do. Whenever I looked at the back cover of a book and saw how much more Canada had to pay for the same book I laughed. Actually I roflcoptered for like 10 minutes.


Now the currencies are almost worth the same. Good job U.S. Government, way to "stay the course" ala Titanic style. In fact, the U.S. dollar is sinking faster than that piece of shit ship did. When I converted my money, 1 U.S. dollar got me 1.03 Canadian dollars.


However I have even worse news. Canada's money is sexier. Apparently they've discovered colors that our treasury department is unaware of.
PLUS THEY HAVE HOLOGRAMS!!!

Yes! Hockey is that important in Canada. What else would they put on their money? A glacier perhaps?


My first flight. It was in a commuter jet 3 seats wide. Did I mention that I hate flying. Once I got over the initial terror I looked up to realize that the flight attendant had just finished going over the evacuation procedures and how to use the oxygen masks. Shit! The one time I need to pay attention I'm busy taking pictures of...


MY CROTCH!
Good thing this seatbelt will save my life! The guys next to me looked at me like I was crazy when I took this photo.


I made it to Canada and cleared customs. Apparently they don't know who I am.


Eating a "Sushi Burrito".


This looked important/famous so I took a picture of it. I don't know what it is.


Only 603 days 4 hours 5 minutes and 54 seconds til the Winter Olympics!


One day after training the other teachers and I went exploring. Yes, there is a tree on top of that building.


We then went to this burger joint called Vera's. The had a guacamole burger so I was obligated to get it. As I have said before anything with guacamole induces orgasms inside my mouth and this incident was no different.

Also at the burger joint was the hottest girl in all of Canada! The other teachers and I briefly considered canceling our plans to go to Japan. I wish I had taken her picture so you would believe me, but that would have been a lil too stalkerish.

Ok, next dime I see I'll take her picture, but I'm going to ask her first.


English Bay, where we ate our hamburgers.


ESKIMO POWER!
An Inuit stone monument dedicated to someone or something they believed in or possibly some sort of festival.


A somewhat beautiful sunset. I'd say 8/10.

In Canada it is very easy to find drugs. Either shady guys on the street ask you, "do you want some weed?" or you can go to classy establishments such as Shoppers Drug Mart.

Davis: The Last Days

Q: Where do you go to dinner when you are leaving the country and are going to be gone for a year?
A: Only the classiest place you can find. Applebees!

Me Leaving = Everyone Happy


SKADOOSH!
We saw Kung Fu Panda. Pure Awesomeness.


Idieh got me a goodbye gift. Tucker Max: I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell, a book full of bad ideas. The odds of me getting deported from Japan just doubled.


The tier 2's and Liz. I'll miss you guys!


KT gets handsie when she is drunk, or maybe she just likes to molest me.


POP ROCKS!


Molls couldn't handle it.


Tassels almost died!

Molls, Tassels, BJ, thanks for helping me move. I love you. <3

Death Crispers, Warm Jack, and Oral Sex

I made it to Canadia! I'll update about my trip shortly, but first let me recap my last days in the magical town known as Davis.

My friends were hesitant about getting hammered on a Wednesday because of their "jobs". Luckily the best way to forget about the possible repercussions of a night of hard drinking is a night of hard drinking.


On our way to Hunan's Molls and Big Russ fixed this girls bike and saved her life. They are heroes. It was our good deed for the day and our excuse to act like complete assholes for the rest of the night.


At Hunan's we had a "Death Crisper Deathmatch". For the record "Death Crispers" are the chilies Satan grows in hell. When he feeds them to the damned their mouthes immediately explode in the flames and remain engulfed in fire for all eternity. So why did we put them in our mouthes? Because after 7-8 beers anything seems like a good idea. Note the waiters facial expression in the background.


The aftermath.


Despite almost puking and crying we emerged victorious and continued on our quest towards obliteration.


Next stop Little Prague and chasing warm shots of Jack with a fruity summer beer. This was the second time I almost simultaneously puked and cried in the span of 20 minutes.


Apparently everyone else was cool with the gross beer and room temperature shots.


The Best Hug Ever!


Me, Molls, and Tassels.


Then we hit up Jungle Bar aka Sofia's. This is where things got interesting. After the initial rounds of beers I decided it was time to take the night to next level. White Russians, Black Russians, and then Kamikazes. Here we are celebrating how fucking awesome we are. Molls was so fucked up he thought he was a T-Rex.


Then Big Russ decided to maul my face.


After that the night turned sexual. Please note that I was not actually touching Idieh's boob. I can't say the same for Big Russ.


What are friends for...besides oral?


No good deed goes unrewarded, but I think she enjoyed it more than he did.