DC: The Newseum and The Capitol

I was exhausted the entire trip. Walking +10 miles a day from museum to museum and then going drinking at night leaves you spent.

The Supreme Disappointment


It rained a lot.

Good thing I wore shorts!


ACT UP!
The Newseum (News + Museum) had some sections of the Berlin Wall.


I wasn't impressed with the artwork, which helps explain the lack of famous German painters. I guess the Germans off-set this deficiency with their superabundance of distinguished composers.


Capitol Hill: Where poor job performance won't get you fired.


Father Junipero Serra representing California in the National Statuary Collection Hall.
This guy was my great great great great grandpa's best friend. He also founded the California Missions, the first one being built in San Diego.


Just being sexy, the usual.


By early afternoon I was dying. So just like GTA IV I ate a hot dog to regain some health. It wasn't as good as a Costco hot dog, but what is?

DC: Captain Morgan + Smithsonian Air and Space Museum

When my brother and I hang out together with our parents we act semi-retarded. Here is some evidence. Please note due to hangovers or being incredibly tired there are substantially less pictures of museum stuffs.

We went to a bar for some girl's birthday, we didn't know her, but my brother's friend was friends with someone who knew her. $1 drinks! At the bar there were some treasure chests sitting in the corner. Inside: Captain Morgan's Hats!!! We sported these bad boys the rest of the night.

After dinner my brother and I went clubbing with some of his friends. Then next morning while I was recovering my parents went to the White House and made friends with some hippies.

This is a picture of me walking up 4 flights of stairs at the National Museum of the American Indian with a hangover. Ironic, no?

Then my brother met up with us after he got off work and we headed to the National Air and Space Museum. He decided to buy a monkey from a street vendor. He is planning on wearing it to work as a tie.

The monkey provided us with hours of entertainment. We really didn't pay attention to anything in the museum, we were too busy beating each other to death by using his monkey as a club. I don't know why we are making peace signs in this picture, it still doesn't make sense to me.

By far my favorite thing in the museum:
The Chopper from Magnum P.I.
The only thing that could have been cooler is if Magnum was there himself.

Look out Brits!

Just talking some theoretical physics. Ya know.

Waiting for the god damn metro, which is actually very efficient and timely. But waiting 2 minutes is 2 minutes 2 fucking long 4 me.

DC: National Art Gallery

The next day we went to the National Gallery of Art. We were originally going to go to the Smithsonian Museum of American History. Unfortunately it was closed for renovation. I was sad. So then we headed off to the National Gallery of Art. I must confess, I'm not much of an art aficionado, but the gallery left me in awe. Whose your favorite impressionist? Ohh him, yeah they've got like 8 of those between the Renior's and the Monet's.

Here are a few highlights.

Leonardo Da Vinci: Ginevra de' Benci
+
ME!

Jacques-Louis David: Napoleon in His Study

Claude Monet: Woman with a Parasol



Claude Monet: The Japanese Footbridge


Vincent van Gogh: Self-Portrait



Camille Pissarro: Charing Cross Bridge


Paul Rubens: Daniel in the Lions' Den
aka "Snack Time"


Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn: Self-Portrait


Bacchus!
The God of Wine.


The Abduction of Hippodamia


The Thinker
"Where did I leave my pants?"

DC:The National Portrait Gallery

Last week the parents and I visited my brother in Washington. You could spend weeks in the city and still not see everything. The last time I had been was with my 8th grade class in middle school. Going back nearly 10 years later I had a much deeper appreciation for the place. It amazing how much your perspective and perception can change with time.

"What now Washington? A winter retreat in Valley Forge, fantastic! The the troops will love it!"


Just another hottie with a body.

Honestly, when I heard that we were going to National Portrait Gallery I was...unenthusiastic. With all that the Smithsonian has to offer I was really looking forward to going to some history museums, but it was not meant to be. However, once we got there I was glad that I had been dragged along. The Presidential Gallery was impressive to say the least.

John F. Kennedy: Is it just me or does he look Asian? A great painting nonetheless.

James K. Polk: The plaque next to his portrait stated that when he took the presidency he had four goals: 1) Reduce tariffs, 2) Create and independent treasury system, 3) Settling the Oregon boundary dispute with Great Britain, and 4) "Acquiring" California. The last goal proved difficult. Polk first tried to buy California from Mexico. After being rebuffed, the United States and Mexico conveniently went to war within a year. Guess who won? Have to give the man props, he got shit done.

The first thing that came to mind when I saw the following portraits?

WHAT A SEXY BEAST!


Lincoln: "This play is great!"
Me: "BEHIND YOU!"


Even drunks can be president!


Everyone knows God loves a good war.

The Civil War exhibit was also was superb. Like God, I too enjoy a good war, and the Civil War has always been my fave. (Obviously God was on the North's side because they won!) When I was first learning about the Civil War in 5th grade I was seduced by the Confederacy. They were so god damn sexy. They were the rebels, they were the better fighters, and most importantly they were the underdog. And we all know everyone likes an underdog. The South also knew how to fight a war, they used something called strategery. The North didn't stop pussyfooting around until Grant became the head honcho in 1864. His strategy: to relentlessly attack the enemy and kill them. BRILLIANT! Too bad none of the sober generals ever thought of that. On the left we have the Shermanator. The general who tore Georgia a new one on his march from Atlanta to Savannah. He burned everything in his path, even babies. Just think of it as 19th century style carpet-bombing. On the right we have Gen. "Stonewall" Jackson. Gen. Lee's right hand man and one of the best general of his era. His demise: friendly fire. That's a downer. His absence was one of the reasons why Grant's "tactics" were effective. Interesting fact: The U.S. Capitol houses the National Statuary Hall Collection comprised of two statues donated by each state to honor persons notable in their histories. Virginia is represented by George Washington, the general who won the United States its independence. And Robert E. Lee, the general who almost destroyed the very country the other had helped to create.

Horchata and Sharkskin Suits

El Indio. You've only ate better Mexican food a handful of times. You wonder how you are going to survive without tacos for a whole year. You cringe. Then the food arrives, bliss shortly follows. The side patio is relaxing. The white stucco and Spanish tile remind you of the missions. You’ve always found the style easy on the eyes. The faint ocean breeze feels refreshing. You wonder how long it will be before you drink another decent glass of horchata.

You would think having broad shoulders would be a good thing. It isn't. Sure the ladies find it appealing and protective, but shopping for suits is a pain in the ass. When you have the shoulders of a NFL linebacker and the waist of a pre-pubescent boy no matter what size, style, or cut you try on, it isn't going to fit. You try on the "best fitting suit" in the store. No luck. No matter how long the tailor slaves away at the seams there is nothing he can do to make it a proper fit. Only after 2 hours and 200 suits do you finally resign and throw in the towel. You sigh and settle to go with two 38 R's. Maybe when you go shopping for dress shirts it will be different. Maybe not.