DC:The National Portrait Gallery

Last week the parents and I visited my brother in Washington. You could spend weeks in the city and still not see everything. The last time I had been was with my 8th grade class in middle school. Going back nearly 10 years later I had a much deeper appreciation for the place. It amazing how much your perspective and perception can change with time.

"What now Washington? A winter retreat in Valley Forge, fantastic! The the troops will love it!"


Just another hottie with a body.

Honestly, when I heard that we were going to National Portrait Gallery I was...unenthusiastic. With all that the Smithsonian has to offer I was really looking forward to going to some history museums, but it was not meant to be. However, once we got there I was glad that I had been dragged along. The Presidential Gallery was impressive to say the least.

John F. Kennedy: Is it just me or does he look Asian? A great painting nonetheless.

James K. Polk: The plaque next to his portrait stated that when he took the presidency he had four goals: 1) Reduce tariffs, 2) Create and independent treasury system, 3) Settling the Oregon boundary dispute with Great Britain, and 4) "Acquiring" California. The last goal proved difficult. Polk first tried to buy California from Mexico. After being rebuffed, the United States and Mexico conveniently went to war within a year. Guess who won? Have to give the man props, he got shit done.

The first thing that came to mind when I saw the following portraits?

WHAT A SEXY BEAST!


Lincoln: "This play is great!"
Me: "BEHIND YOU!"


Even drunks can be president!


Everyone knows God loves a good war.

The Civil War exhibit was also was superb. Like God, I too enjoy a good war, and the Civil War has always been my fave. (Obviously God was on the North's side because they won!) When I was first learning about the Civil War in 5th grade I was seduced by the Confederacy. They were so god damn sexy. They were the rebels, they were the better fighters, and most importantly they were the underdog. And we all know everyone likes an underdog. The South also knew how to fight a war, they used something called strategery. The North didn't stop pussyfooting around until Grant became the head honcho in 1864. His strategy: to relentlessly attack the enemy and kill them. BRILLIANT! Too bad none of the sober generals ever thought of that. On the left we have the Shermanator. The general who tore Georgia a new one on his march from Atlanta to Savannah. He burned everything in his path, even babies. Just think of it as 19th century style carpet-bombing. On the right we have Gen. "Stonewall" Jackson. Gen. Lee's right hand man and one of the best general of his era. His demise: friendly fire. That's a downer. His absence was one of the reasons why Grant's "tactics" were effective. Interesting fact: The U.S. Capitol houses the National Statuary Hall Collection comprised of two statues donated by each state to honor persons notable in their histories. Virginia is represented by George Washington, the general who won the United States its independence. And Robert E. Lee, the general who almost destroyed the very country the other had helped to create.