Tokyo Disneyland

The happiest place on Earth (in Asia)!

Actually in the past Disneyland has not been the happiest place on Earth for me. When I was little my eardrum burst and I had to be rushed to Mickey's emergency room. I don't know why it happened, it was just one of those freak accidents.

Also, I have gone to Disneyland with almost every girlfriend I have ever had. Most of those magical experiences ended with some sort of fight or argument. I swear, Disneyland is my dating kryptonite, although ONE time I did have a lot of fun with my gf.

Regardless, I still love Disneyland.


Some quick facts about Tokyo Disneyland and Japanese people. Japanese people love Disneyland more than Americans. In fact, they have an unhealthy obsession with all things Disney.

As far as the park is concerned TD is much bigger than Disneyland Anaheim, ironic when you take into account the average size of the guests at each park. The paths/roads in Tokyo Disneyland are extremely wide and the park is virtually spotless. The castle at TD is also far superior to the one in Anaheim. I attribute this to America's inexperience when it comes to castle building, whereas Japan has been doing that kind of shit for centuries.


My friends with spiffy 3D-glasses.


Pooh! Japanese people love Pooh.


Standing in line for Pooh's Wild Honey Pot Adventure Ride. This ride was made for kids, but it feels like a psychedelic PCP induced trip straight to the heart of honey-hell.


Small World!
No one ever gets that excited on Small World, but if they do jump out of the boat they deserve to drown in the 6 inch deep dirty water.


I got really excited when I realized I could read "please recycle" on my cup. Quick note, Tokyo Disneyland only sells American food: Hamburgers and Hot Dogs. The most foreign/exotic food I was able to find was a Honey-Lemon flavored Churro. After lunch it was time to head to Frontier Land where I stumbled upon...


Authentic Toby Keith Cowboy Hats! I almost roflcoptered right in the gift shop!!! Somehow only the worst parts of American culture make it to Japan.


Also quite strange and unexpected was the quantity of Route 66 memorabilia for sale. What does Route 66 have to do with Disneyland?


When we reached Frontier land it was time to shoot things. I always try my best to live up to all of the American stereotypes! Today's stereotype was Americans love guns!


Jungle Cruise was next. JC would be 10 X more exciting if they combined it with the shooting gallery to create a 1900's hunting safari. I propose they merge the two into: "Big Teddy Roosevelt's Big Game Hunting Safari Cruise Adventure!© "
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Rrrrrrrr!



I get really excited!


Ookii Kaminari Yama!
My favorite ride.


I didn't think they existed over here but I found one! The first football I've seen in 7 months.



Panorama from the front of the park. Check out the swanky hotel.



Buzz Lightyear explains how to use a gun.


U. S. A.!!!


One of the most surprising things about TD is the amount of English. On the rides, at the restaurants and gifts shops there was English everywhere. The ride decor was often in English only, and at the restaurants and shops English was often above the smaller Japanese script. However all audio/speaking inside TD is in Japanese. A very odd juxtaposition.

I wonder if I'm the only person who finds this "Buy Bonds" poster extremely ironic.



Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. By the way, what is up with the Snow White ride? At the end of the ride the witch kills everyone and the ride ends. WTF!?


All in all one of my best Disneyland experiences!