Death Crispers, Warm Jack, and Oral Sex

I made it to Canadia! I'll update about my trip shortly, but first let me recap my last days in the magical town known as Davis.

My friends were hesitant about getting hammered on a Wednesday because of their "jobs". Luckily the best way to forget about the possible repercussions of a night of hard drinking is a night of hard drinking.


On our way to Hunan's Molls and Big Russ fixed this girls bike and saved her life. They are heroes. It was our good deed for the day and our excuse to act like complete assholes for the rest of the night.


At Hunan's we had a "Death Crisper Deathmatch". For the record "Death Crispers" are the chilies Satan grows in hell. When he feeds them to the damned their mouthes immediately explode in the flames and remain engulfed in fire for all eternity. So why did we put them in our mouthes? Because after 7-8 beers anything seems like a good idea. Note the waiters facial expression in the background.


The aftermath.


Despite almost puking and crying we emerged victorious and continued on our quest towards obliteration.


Next stop Little Prague and chasing warm shots of Jack with a fruity summer beer. This was the second time I almost simultaneously puked and cried in the span of 20 minutes.


Apparently everyone else was cool with the gross beer and room temperature shots.


The Best Hug Ever!


Me, Molls, and Tassels.


Then we hit up Jungle Bar aka Sofia's. This is where things got interesting. After the initial rounds of beers I decided it was time to take the night to next level. White Russians, Black Russians, and then Kamikazes. Here we are celebrating how fucking awesome we are. Molls was so fucked up he thought he was a T-Rex.


Then Big Russ decided to maul my face.


After that the night turned sexual. Please note that I was not actually touching Idieh's boob. I can't say the same for Big Russ.


What are friends for...besides oral?


No good deed goes unrewarded, but I think she enjoyed it more than he did.